Today I logged into this site with a startling surprize.... our missing Orc, Schlitzie, has reared his greenish head after months of conspicuous absense!
For those who dont' know Schlitzie, he is the founder of the WAAAGH!!! (number of A's and !!'s change with each posting)... the original Orc group on Second Life. The Waagh was set up sometime shortly after Elf Clan. As odd as it may seem, the orcs and elves became fast friends, a friendship that was to last through the most difficult and strenuous of times.
Shlitzie was in a race with Peter Lioncourt to become the "first renter" on our original sim (to this date, we don't know who actually rented first... Peter I think... but Schlitzie was definitely the first to complete his build on our new sim-- such time is documented to the minute. LOL). Schlitzie set up the original Orc Embassy, an establishment that is as much a part of Elf Clan as Fred himself (you know Fred... the huge eyeball that oversees our sandbox... the Elf Clan Mascot).
When the Rift occurred between the two Elven leaders, Schlitzie was the first to stick with Elf Clan. He immediately transferred the Orc Embassy to the newly established (original) ElvenMyst and has continued to support Elf Clan ever since. As a result, Schlitize was the first member of a non-Elven species to be granted the honored title of "Beloved of Elf Clan".
However, he has been absent for quite some time. Weeks and months go by without hearing a word from him. The Dwagons complain that they put stuffed animal gifts on his throne and don't hear so much as a roar and when they go back, the gift is still sitting there, with its head even still attached.
This has caused us great concern. What happened to our ancient Orc (very, very ancient) and what about his Orc Boyz? Orcs are scarce as hen's teeth. While once they roamed these lands, these days when one sights an orc it usually turns out to be only a battle dummy (well, an ACTUAL battle dummy, anyway. That term somewhat needs usually explained when Orcs test their catapults by sitting on them and pulling the cord. Note: Schlitize claims it just gets them to the enemy faster. Since the Orcs usually survive the experience... I must admit he's right-- even if the surviving Orc is alone and immediately turned into moat monster kibbles).
We have heard all sorts of stories coming down the pipeline... how that the Orc Leader has been "busy" in RL, how his RL "job" is making great demands, even rumors he may be furthering his education. However, several things are involved here. 1) Orcs don't work 2) Orcs don't care about education 3) TRUE orcs would let nothing interfere with hanging around their best friends at Elf Clan, at least once a week or so... nor would it keep them from attending the PIRATE PARTIES we host every once in a while.
So it becomes obvious to me there can be only one explanation: there must be a dame involved. Yup, that is the only thing known to man that can divert an Orc from any course of action. Womens. Orcs are (using these words so they don't exactly comprehend what I'm about to say) of limited cranial capacity to begin with. Whenever someone of the greener sex becomes involved... it tends to overload the cerebral cells still functioning and blinds the poor Orc to all else around him.
That's my theory, and I'm stickin' to it. WAAAAAGHH!!!